When Your Child Bleeds Too Much

Before Rachel reads the title of this post and says "Mommy! Take it away!" I want to let you fine folks know that I'll not be grossing you out and going into really personal details.

Our family, the womenfolk anyway, don't seem to like to be held to the constraints of time and science. When we began to blossom into women, the shut off switch seemed to be out of order. Most girls are lucky... they begin to menstruate close to the same date every month, and they are free from that inconvenience within a few days to a week. Life goes on. Not for the Groves girls. When the bleeding starts.... it hates to stop. So much so that Rachel has had 2 blood transfusions to replace what her body had shed over months of nonstop menstrual cycle.

In an adult female a hemoglobin count should be 12-16 gm/dl (grams per deciliter, a deciliter being 100 mililiters.) This last week we discovered that Rachel's was at 7 gm/dl. Hence, another transfusion.

There are a lot of things that go through a young woman's head when she is getting a blood transfusion.... "Who did the blood belong to?" "Will I feel differently with someone else's blood in me?" "Will my body accept the blood?"

Rachel was a bit distraught that she had to go through the procedure again after having had a transfusion a few years ago. But, she hung in there, dealt with the needles and the 5 hours of dripping, swap of bags, flushing, temperature taking, blood pressure cuff squeezing and oxygen levels being checked. She did a fabulous job. Hopefully that will be the last time she ever has to go through something like that ever again.

My purpose in writing this is twofold.... first, just to let friends and family know that she made it through just fine, and they are doing what they can to keep her from having to go through it again. Secondly.... if you have a young lady in your life that has started to look pale... seems to be out of breath or feels dizzy when she stands up.... don't be afraid to ask her how her period is going. Our doctor told us that if a normal person lost that much blood in one day, they would be unconscious. The fact that the blood loss is gradual doesn't take away from the danger.... however, the young woman may not even realize that her body is in danger. She may feel "just fine." That is because her body has slowly gotten used to living without the full amount of blood pumping through her heart and veins. Take the time to communicate with your kids/cousins/nieces/sisters.... we girls need to watch out for each other.

Thanks for reading! ~ Dawn

When you Love Them So Much

How is it that another human can get so under your skin that you care more about them than you do for yourself? I remember when I was younger wondering if I had enough in me to love children the way they deserved to be loved. I needn't have worried. With each of my four kids, my heart seemed to swell to be able to hold the love I would automatically feel for them. I've made a lot of mistakes in my life. I've hurt people. I've been hurt. When my kids hurt though -- that is the greatest hurt of all.

My beautiful daughter Rae, had her heart broken today. When I say broken, I mean torn out, ripped apart, tossed on the ground and stomped into the dirt broken. Oh the torturous things I'd love to do to the young man who dared put her in this teenage torment! Not knowing what to say to her, I listened. Not knowing what to do, I held her. Unable to see the future, I counseled her to get through each moment one at a time. Each moment she makes it through will bring her closer to the moment her entire being no longer hurts.

The hardest part is being unable to plug a zip drive into my experiences and load them over to her head and heart so that she will have the full knowledge that I do. The death of this relationship will be the fertilizer for future more incredible relationships. Right now, all she sees is the fertilizer.

And all I see is a broken young woman. One who feels unloved.. unlovable. One who believes she lacks in beauty, intelligence and humor. All she really lacks are the eyes and the heart of the mom who can see so much more in her than she could ever imagine.

I'm not sure that I love my kids the way they deserve to be loved. I do know that the love I feel for them is more than I ever expected. I pray it's a healing love.